I need a savior. Yes. I usually look for the easy way out. I look for some one who will bail me out. I keep making the same selfish and unwise decisions. I am lazy. I hide my true self because it is shameful, degrading. I may put on a fairly well crafted mask to survive but behind that are no treasures of purity or righteousness. Inside I excuse my self and judge others harshly, often so I can feel justified about not fulfilling my true obligations.
Yes. I am a loser and take no pride in the negative ways that has affected those around me. Those of you who tackle life head on, overcoming obstacles,staying true to yourself with no or few regrets may not understand what it feels like to be helpless morally. You suppose that all human beings are capable of taking charge of their life's forces and channeling them toward good. Should I dare ask for your mercy, let alone your understanding, your compassion, your hope? Whatever. I need a savior.
I know me. I am judas, I am a Pharisee, I am a child molester. Not everyone can honestly say that. You see, I need a savior. I once thought there was rottenness in me. No. The rottenness is me. You don't understand that. You have dealt with your faults and improved your life. Your core is good. Why would you need saving? Jesus came to look for the hopelessly lost, the morally bankrupt, true sinners, worthless, evil doers, scoundrels, jerks, the lazy, the sleazy. I hate to admit that I am not like you. I’ve always hoped that something about me was good and noble, like others. I didn’t want to be valueless, one of “those people”. Doesn’t matter. I am. He came to save us, me, and I need him. There’s no heroics here. There’s no “With God’s help I overcame some acceptable sin”.
I am just trying to make it clear why I cling to Jesus and that I understand why you don't. You see, there is nothing good in me. I am led by evil and out of control. I am not a religious person. I tried but failed. I have faked believing religious doctrines and disciplines. I don't even know who Jesus really is. I only know what he tells me and that he saves me. His friendship has given me a foothold in my precarious condition. His presence near me healed something essential.
Jesus is my good news. Gospel.